A State of Mind - Early Development

I received input from some folks and would like to follow up on one topic. I think it's difficult for people to understand why Black people are so angry and frustrated. I can't speak for all Black people, but I'll relate a few moments from my past.

When I was in the third grade I was playing with a group of kids at school, one of which happened to be a White girl named Terri Vaughn. As we were playing one of the boys (Bill Buie, just happened to be White) accidentally made her fall and hurt herself.

The parents were called to pick up Terri, so the father happens to see me get on the bus after school and follows me home. As I watched him, I started to panic because I think I'm in trouble even though I didn't do anything mean or spiteful. We get to my stop and I run in the house as her father pulls into my driveway. Luckily my parents were home as I come in crying, but unable to explain why and what's going on.

Her father knocked on the door and there was a tense discussion between him and my dad. It turns out I was not in trouble, but her father didn't want me to play with his daughter because I was Black. So my parents had to have that discussion with me. Needless to say I never played with Terri again. When I hear people say they don't see color, it comes across as insincere to someone who was forced to confront his color at a young age.

I tell this story to let you know there are moments in our past that shape the way we think and approach people throughout our lives. That happened to me over 45 years ago and I still remember the names of everyone involved. I have similar stories of being called the N-word on multiple occasions, having a glass coke bottle thrown at me by a group of white guys driving passed as I walked down the street, being followed in stores for no reason and so on. Believe it or not, I consider these fairly mild incidents in comparison to other black people. Yes, I was an angry teenager and really didn't understand why, but I was able to channel my anger through sports. Not everyone has that option. Their anger can lead to a more destructive path and as a Black person, chances are we will be more severely reprimanded.

(On a side note, I can remember an incident of the N-word being used as a verb once. Caught me so off guard I was at a lack of words. I didn't even know how to address it. Ferrell, remember that car ride with Hester. Your face was priceless. She said it twice! It was so weird I have to laugh about it sometimes, because oddly enough, I knew it wasn't really said with malice. It was her ignorance of not considering it would be offensive to me.)

I say all this to let you know that these thoughts develop at an early age and can be hard to let go. I would have never imagined marrying a White woman ever when I was younger, but you never know what life will bring. I had major trust issues when it came to White people. I have learned to judge people based on their actions, not just their words.

I would like folks to send me your thoughts and stories about your experiences. Whether it's the worst racist experience you had or your first interactions with another race the blow your concept of what you thought they would be like at a personal level. Drop me a line, even funny stories (like maybe you thought Black folks danced better because of their extra hip bone :-) )